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There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm sure looking. 
aside from your face, what is your problem? :D
Stepping in some water barefoot in the kitchen, not so bad.Stepping in some water with socks on, bloody catastrophic.
I feel accomplished when I can identify the show or movie that people are watching in their little car televisions.
I am REALLY good at what I do. You know, procrastinating and stuff.
is reading his friends' drunken late night what's on their mind posts. Common themes seem to be trying to get laid, "drama" and having "one more" drink.
Today's word of advice: Never take a muscle relaxer if you've got the trots.
So Noah from the Bulls looks grungy, apperently basketball is so easy a caveman can do it.
waiting for you to say something intelligent .
eat your profile views and comments up. They'll make you big and popular because at the end of the day nobody's gonna give a damn right?........right.
In the chemistry lab, proving that ugliness is more than skin deep...
It's a given that whatever hits the fan is never distributed evenly.
finds himself dating high maintenance women. I'm not sure why - I think because I hate money. Its as though I check out my checking account, and I say: Oh, that's just too much. I need to make an investment that's going nowhere, fast!
My advice to Charlie Brown or any kid who wants more friends; don't tell people your dog is a WWI flying ace
This woman at work is trying to get me fired, for giving her inappropriate massages at the office. I said “good luck with that, I don't even work here”
I think I want to start today with a nutritious bowl of oatmeal,,, Cause it'll prepare me for all of the other disappointments the day will provide.
tough crowd..well thats all for today, drive safe, I'll be here all week
Destroying all of this evidence would go a lot faster if I could shoot lasers from my eyes!
I assume a pretend apple a day keeps the honorary doctorate types away.
my android battery last longer than kim kardashians marriage 