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It's science. It's meant to confuse stupid people 
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and some b itch will tell him he's doing it wrong.
okay...so Harlem Shake is not a rich Arab!!!
Interest in the Bermuda Triangle disappeared. Seems suspicious.
facebook should have an "I've seen enough" button.
I wonder if Medusa ever just relaxed and put her snakes back in a ponytail?
Sorry, I'm not tall enough to ride your emotional roller coaster ...
Wanted to wear something less restricting to work today so I went with granny panties and a Snuggie and that's why I'm in HR this morning.
Walmart is a Zoo for people.
Why is that when a girl says, "I'm going to die alone," it elicits sympathetic awws, but when I say it people just nod uncomfortably...
Yes, the carpet does match the drapes but all the furniture is from Goodwill.
Let me in, Let me in, Let me in! I need to go back out again!----My Dog!
I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster!
Friday instantly puts you in a good mood...
I hate it when I am hosting a pool party at my neighbors' house and they come home early from their vacation.
Can't someone put these Kartrashians on a leash and chain them to a pole?
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
Just an observation but.....I believe this exotic dancer might make a little more money if she would wax her mustache
Marriage, because your suffering doesnt have to end at work.
If you wanna be stabbed or threatened every time you don't perform well in bed, get a latino woman. 