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currently starring in your "Live Feed" ... you may also remember her from past sites such as "News Feed" or your original "Home Page". 
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.
Women are strange...before marriage they expect a man,after marriage they suspect the man,and after he dies they respect the man!
I thought of something today, I wont ever do that again, it hurt.
I only drink to make other people seem interesting.
2010 winner of the JD Power awards for Satisfaction and Stamina !
beer may not be the answer but it helps you forget the question
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
..to me, a Super Bowl is one that's full of snacks that I don't have to share.
thinks if Senator Jim Bunning wants to make a point to US, reduce the pensions, Soc.Sec. and lifelong health benefits for politicians!!
would like the PETA people not to have a cow because some people like to eat a good steak.
my shoes are muddy, my knees are scraped and I lost my hat...but it was the best time i've ever had
I hate it when people CLEARLY see am sleeping then they wake me up and ask if am sleeping.
Rated R for disturbing violent content, language and some nudity
Soul mate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
There's a motion detector in my bedroom. It never goes off.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
You're not the only one who's empty inside, coffee mug.
I think Old Man Winter & Mother Nature need to have a few drinks and make a little Spring.
We can't help but to start liking the girls that become our good friends. Too hard to find girls that just like to have fun these days. 