No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches.
On a completely unrelated note;
If you've ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write "Last warning. You have a week to get the rest of the money together. Next time we won't be so nice."