When I am on vacation I put in my Out of Office message to contact Batman with any problems, as I feel he is the only one qualified to replace me anyway.
I have watched CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Lie To Me, Criminal Minds and Unusual Suspects. I can kill you 18 ways with a paperclip and not leave forensic evidence.
Don't pay Facebook $2 to 'promote' your latest status. Simply send me half that amount, and I'll repeat it to all my friends in real life. For an extra 50c, I'll throw in a funny face when I say it.