Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 1596 of 5594

   messageicon I just came across a "R.I.P. Bin Ladin" page, uhh more like R.I.H. for Rot In Hell
←Rate | 05-02-2011 00:57 by Shea1985 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new tape huh? Man,not only is Osama the Jordan of hide and seek,he's the tupac of terrorism.
←Rate | 05-02-2011 23:54 by @qpid901 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the rabbit was named "Rabbit", the piglet was named "Piglet", and the owl was named "Owl", why wasn't Christopher Robin named "Dude"?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 14:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wouldn't have to manage her anger if certain people would manage their stupidity.
←Rate | 05-23-2011 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's just another day in down turn economy with a rising unemployment rate....but other than that it's paradise...
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:37 by Nebulith Comments (0)  


   messageicon $9.99 sounds fair enough coz $10 is an outrageous amount of money.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 06:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I want to commit suicide , all I would do is jump from your 'EGO' to your ' IQ Level'.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 15:05 by Missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The criminals on Scooby Doo suck! A bunch of teenage stoners and a DOG just solved your crime. I think you need a new line of work my friend
←Rate | 03-23-2012 14:15 by @HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon flagging your girlfriend offside when she leaves the kitchen. a typical valentines day procedure.
←Rate | 02-14-2012 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon and on a positive note today is Taco Tuesday!!
←Rate | 02-14-2012 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting a tat of your kids faces is a great idea, as you get saggy and wrinkly it creates a free age progression for them
←Rate | 02-19-2012 11:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go ahead and play "hard to get"...I'll be over here playing "don't give a s$it"
←Rate | 06-18-2012 22:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not what nature intended.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard the guy trying on skinny jeans & telling the assistant he's married. Not sure why he got offended when I asked "who's the lucky guy?"
←Rate | 06-27-2012 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who can't remember anyone's birthday without facebook?
←Rate | 07-01-2012 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "You f*cking weirdo" just before you shut your window curtains
←Rate | 07-06-2012 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people look at a mousetrap and just see a trap for a mouse. Some of us look and see free cheese and a challenge.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:04 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I may be getting too old for a holiday metro vest and skinny jeans....Which most likely explains the weird looks I was getting when I split my pants while shopping at Hot Topic!
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people carry a yoga mat, which says a lot about them. I carry a placemat, which says a lot about me.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's always a ho or a rumour that ruins every relationship
←Rate | 12-19-2011 13:34 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left