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Page: 153 of 5593
therapists should give you a discount if you make them laugh in session
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10-07-2020 15:49
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People are starting to relax about coronavirus. I coughed at the grocery store and only one person tased me.
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10-12-2020 08:21
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I’m going to the corn maze today to see if I can find the kid I lost in there last October.
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10-13-2020 11:35
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Do people who pay $20 for corn mazes know that you can go get lost in Ikea for only the price of three days of meatballs?
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10-19-2020 15:06
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Life is like a helicopter... I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
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10-22-2020 18:37
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I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.
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10-23-2020 21:32 by
moon
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We parents need to stop threatening our kids with a lump of coal. It’s cruel and outdated. Behave or Santa will break your iPad, kids.
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12-10-2020 12:35
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2020: How to turn 5 pieces of clothing into a yearlong wardrobe.
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12-14-2020 09:18
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if you think the last 12 months dragged on, just think how your dog feels. he’s probably sick of having you home for the 7 years
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01-19-2021 11:59
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Everything I learned about the Kardashians, I learned against my will.
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02-22-2021 09:02
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If you’re buying something embarrassing at the drugstore (like an enema), just ask for a gift receipt so they won’t think it’s for you.
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03-16-2021 08:31
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I'm at that age and wisdom where I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. Nope! I've seen that movie.
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03-21-2021 06:43 by
Bill
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Sure your baby's cute but have you ever seen a chihuahua with the hiccups?
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04-16-2018 02:09
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Check if your kids are asleep in their bed late at night by turning off the wifi.
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04-16-2018 14:36
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We wipe our )( blind, but we put our deodorant on using a mirror...
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04-16-2018 15:15 by
JohnY
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A guy in a leather jacket told me that if I gave him a hundred dollars he'd give me three hundred back in a month. It sounded too good to be true, but then I realized that it was just a Fonzi scheme.
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04-19-2018 08:03
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Ever noticed that when you are broke, you have common sense.
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04-21-2018 22:53
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When I first heard of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' I initially thought it was supposed to be a Star Trek show about the Klingon rivals...
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04-26-2018 01:17
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Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
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04-27-2018 14:17 by
Kisstopher707
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Patient: Doc, I feel miserable, worthless, unhappy, and I have no money. Doctor: I see...... How long have you been married?
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04-30-2018 23:42 by
Jake
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