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   messageicon therapists should give you a discount if you make them laugh in session
←Rate | 10-07-2020 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are starting to relax about coronavirus. I coughed at the grocery store and only one person tased me.
←Rate | 10-12-2020 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m going to the corn maze today to see if I can find the kid I lost in there last October.
←Rate | 10-13-2020 11:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do people who pay $20 for corn mazes know that you can go get lost in Ikea for only the price of three days of meatballs?
←Rate | 10-19-2020 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a helicopter... I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
←Rate | 10-22-2020 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.
←Rate | 10-23-2020 21:32 by moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon We parents need to stop threatening our kids with a lump of coal. It’s cruel and outdated. Behave or Santa will break your iPad, kids.
←Rate | 12-10-2020 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2020: How to turn 5 pieces of clothing into a yearlong wardrobe.
←Rate | 12-14-2020 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you think the last 12 months dragged on, just think how your dog feels. he’s probably sick of having you home for the 7 years
←Rate | 01-19-2021 11:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I learned about the Kardashians, I learned against my will.
←Rate | 02-22-2021 09:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re buying something embarrassing at the drugstore (like an enema), just ask for a gift receipt so they won’t think it’s for you.
←Rate | 03-16-2021 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at that age and wisdom where I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. Nope! I've seen that movie.
←Rate | 03-21-2021 06:43 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure your baby's cute but have you ever seen a chihuahua with the hiccups?
←Rate | 04-16-2018 02:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Check if your kids are asleep in their bed late at night by turning off the wifi.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We wipe our )( blind, but we put our deodorant on using a mirror...
←Rate | 04-16-2018 15:15 by JohnY Comments (2)  


   messageicon A guy in a leather jacket told me that if I gave him a hundred dollars he'd give me three hundred back in a month. It sounded too good to be true, but then I realized that it was just a Fonzi scheme.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 08:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever noticed that when you are broke, you have common sense.
←Rate | 04-21-2018 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I first heard of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' I initially thought it was supposed to be a Star Trek show about the Klingon rivals...
←Rate | 04-26-2018 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Patient: Doc, I feel miserable, worthless, unhappy, and I have no money. Doctor: I see...... How long have you been married?
←Rate | 04-30-2018 23:42 by Jake Comments (0)  



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