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I want “Diet starts tomorrow” written on my tombstone.
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08-08-2019 06:10
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I'm at that age where food makes me fat.
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09-24-2019 15:35
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"buttcheeks" one word or should I spread them apart?
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10-08-2019 17:53
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My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
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04-19-2018 01:48 by
Kisstopher707
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I wonder if Yoda from Star Wars last name was “Layeehoo”.
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09-17-2018 17:35 by
Cicci
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..... The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze .....
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08-06-2016 00:51
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we need funny material not people who think they are funny
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02-06-2014 18:06
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Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
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01-23-2016 06:49 by
huck
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If you see a animal stuck in a trap, free them. If you see a child crying, comfort them. If you see Kanye West crossing the street, HIT THE GAS!!!
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04-12-2016 01:02
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Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
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04-15-2016 05:38
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Scotland's in the middle of a couple's breakup and trying to figure out who they're still supposed to be friends with.
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06-26-2016 01:53
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I really don't think it's right to support hate, violence and murder just because it suits your agenda.
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07-08-2016 10:57
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Assuming one is against the police when they're against police brutality is like assuming one is anti-parent when they're against child abuse.
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07-15-2016 00:39
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Skip the next 20 pages, nothing worth stealing.
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07-17-2016 00:38
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For some reason the "Samsung Galaxy Note 7" has become the preferred phone of terrorists.
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10-10-2016 11:45
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I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter
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05-07-2017 04:05 by
Eddy
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Much as I like Guardians of the Galaxy, in real life, I don't think it's a good idea to give a gun to a raccoon.
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05-29-2017 07:24 by
unknown comic
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Do race horses really pee more than regular horses?
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05-30-2017 07:28
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'Flashdance' gave me unrealistic expectations about how hot welders would be
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07-16-2017 20:17 by
unknown comic
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I hope Death is a woman. That way it will never come for me.
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07-31-2017 17:46
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