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flinnie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 15 of 33
"I hate cats." - Curiosity
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10-03-2011 06:16 by
flinnie
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Just saw a hot girl delivering pizza. NOT in porn--for an actual job. The American economy is worse than we realize
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10-03-2011 06:54 by
flinnie
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Why does everyone love dolphins so much? They're mammals that can breathe under water and they're smarter than us. We should be worried.
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10-05-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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If you truly love someone you roll down the window to scoop out the fart you put in the car.
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10-05-2011 05:58 by
flinnie
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If having Rainbow Bright stickers on my face is wrong, I don't want to be right
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10-05-2011 06:00 by
flinnie
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Since I can't get my illiterate coworker use spell check, I set his email signature to say "Sent from my phone, pardon any typos"
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10-05-2011 06:00 by
flinnie
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I ate so much candy corn yesterday, I just pooped a candle
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10-05-2011 06:01 by
flinnie
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I woke up in the middle of the night & wrote 2 status ideas down on paper. I need help
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10-05-2011 06:01 by
flinnie
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The only difference between a sink and urinal is an opinion
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10-06-2011 06:00 by
flinnie
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Doing work on the bathroom, went to Lowe's and, long story short, still not mature enough to ask for caulk without laughing
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10-06-2011 06:02 by
flinnie
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If anybody steals my identity, at least I'll know who to look for
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10-08-2011 09:08 by
flinnie
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Instead of "lol" try "lsimhbiwfefmtalol". Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud
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10-08-2011 09:12 by
flinnie
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Hey kids you may think you are cool playing your music loud, but face the facts. You were probably conceived during a commercial during Melrose Place
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10-09-2011 06:04 by
flinnie
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If my dad were alive today he would say, "Stop telling people I'm dead".
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10-09-2011 06:06 by
flinnie
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The one thing you don't read about Helen Keller is how everybody blamed farts on her.
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10-09-2011 06:07 by
flinnie
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Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.
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10-09-2011 19:02 by
flinnie
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I'm so glad dog hair is an accepted accessory in society.
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10-11-2011 10:19 by
flinnie
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People who write "WASH ME" on dirty cars are the same people who think "Pull My Finger" is the most hilarious game ever
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10-11-2011 10:20 by
flinnie
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The planet Saturn = 7 rings, Michael Jordan = 6 rings, Kobe Bryant = 5 rings, LeBron James.........Just a Headband.
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10-11-2011 10:20 by
flinnie
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I think women are born with the right to warm their cold toes on men.
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10-11-2011 10:21 by
flinnie
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