BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person.

   The person who says he trusts no one should include himself.

   [ ] single [ ] taken [x] dating imaginary person, that's perfect for me

   Am online on facebook only in morning, afternoon, evening and night.. otherwise am busy in study.

   In his last act of terrorism, Osama Bin Laden is blowing up my facebook newsfeed.

   I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.

   Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills…making the last car payment.

   It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

   How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

   If you didn't have my number before you broke, lost, or got a new phone, don't invite me to your "new phone need numbers" group on Facebook. You just make me feel like a jerk when I ignore it

   When I was little, I wanted to be a UPS man when I grew up because they get to drive around all day with no doors. Now I'm really glad my car has doors.

   Facebook blocked at work. 2012 has come much earlier than anticipated.

   Dear Mr. Chip bag thank you for telling me that 23 peices equal one serving. However, I need clarification on the exact size of your standard chip. Perhaps a life size picture on the bag would help.

   Dear Humans, We have called off the apocalypse after realizing that there are no brains left. Sincerely, Zombies.

   I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

   Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

   "Do you have a cell phone?" You might as well be asking me if I have a pulse.

   When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but when I'm busy, my phone blows up.

   This just in... Apple has just hired LeBron James to fix the iPhone signal problem!

   World Population Rank: 1.China 2.India 3.Facebook 4.USA 5.MySpace 6.Indonesia 7.Brazil 8.Twitter