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Just a deplorable trying to not get suicided by the clinton crime regime. 
people can cry and cry all they want about who won and who didn't but when you have a 50% voter turnout you have only yourself to blame.
Being a Man is great until you hear a noise late at night and your wife makes you realize that you are the one who is supposed to go investigate
If you have enough cats you don't even need a blanket.
Came Across a disclaimer that said "don't try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbor's house
Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them
FYI: It should be illegal to play a doorbell sound on TV... Or a siren in a song on the radio
I don't go on Twitter a lot, does 'tweets' mean "political p!ssing and moaning from all sides", and what happened to the - Funny ??
Well OBVIOUSLY,, Winter is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.
Egg Nog is the perfect holiday drink for when you don't feel like breathing out of your mouth for a few hours.
My favorite yoga pose? Downward facing nap.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
I love pizza because it doesn't judge and tell me I'm doing it wrong when I eat it drunk.
Actually,, I thought I was the only one who did not know the words to Mariah Carey songs.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE BUTTERCUP.
Loofah sponge instructions: 1. Wet before use 2. Use once 3. Hang to dry as shower decoration for the rest of your life.
There's much better things in life than alcohol but alcohol compensates for not getting them.
*smashes bag of Oreos and pours it on salad*
Eating healthy is great
I'm a Twinkie in a Dingdong world ! 