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   messageicon Does the thirty minutes of cardio have to be all at once or can you spread it out over fifty years?
←Rate | 11-01-2018 05:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My five year plan is to make it through this year.
←Rate | 08-06-2020 21:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It reminds me of the time I walked in on my parents having sex and they tried to convince me they were lying on top of one another to see who was longer.
←Rate | 08-11-2020 11:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2020 love life: The washing machine has seen me naked more often than anyone else.
←Rate | 08-24-2020 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear to God if I had one of those Race Car Beds, it would be on jack stands too.
←Rate | 08-28-2020 10:30 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this point, if Pennywise tries to lure me into the sewer, I’m going.
←Rate | 09-14-2020 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wind kept blowing an old Burger King wrapper at my feet for over half a block I know a sign from God when I see one
←Rate | 09-18-2020 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the marriage counselor asks how long since you’ve had sex, she means with your spouse. Learn from my mistakes.
←Rate | 09-28-2020 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
←Rate | 10-06-2020 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them we know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices.
←Rate | 10-19-2020 07:50 by IARU Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am having a weird day, first I found a hat full of money, then I got chased by a guy with a guitar.
←Rate | 10-29-2020 09:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want a traditional thanksgiving? The CDC recommends you eat outside like a pilgrim this year
←Rate | 11-25-2020 07:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Oh yeah, that thing you REALLY liked last time? Well guess what YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN” -Costco.
←Rate | 12-10-2020 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers!
←Rate | 07-12-2016 16:38 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon The mantra of every politician is: Promise Everything, Deliver Nothing, Blame Someone Else. HECK ..... No wonder America is in turmoil ... We rarely vote in leaders .... Just a bunch of Con-Artists to run the Nation.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 18:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I grew up living Paycheck to Paycheck ...... NOW after a lot of very hard work and Perseverance ... I now live from Direct Deposit to Direct Deposit.
←Rate | 07-15-2016 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, they go in a bucket, they cost 60 bucks so you'd better...
←Rate | 02-14-2016 15:17 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I buy enormous pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That's so weird. I told her to calm down and it had the exact opposite effect...
←Rate | 08-14-2015 15:27 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
←Rate | 03-26-2016 19:06 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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