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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 14 of 22
"Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.
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04-23-2012 08:24 by
snotty
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Awww.... It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..
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04-24-2012 01:01 by
snotty
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One thing I've learned about myself after all this time on Facebook is that I have no idea how to use a comma.
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04-24-2012 08:10 by
snotty
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Hey,,,,Can any of you people possibly recommend 30 or 40 books on hoarding?
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04-24-2012 14:38 by
snotty
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I'm no architect,,, but I DON'T think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.
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04-24-2012 14:45 by
snotty
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Did you know ?? If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.... Medical fact.
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04-24-2012 14:53 by
snotty
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Note to self: Feed lots of Mayo to the tuna first,,,,,,THEN butcher.
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04-25-2012 07:12 by
snotty
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I eat my peas with honey.. I dun it all my life.. It makes the peas taste funny.. But it keeps them on my knife.
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04-25-2012 07:14 by
snotty
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I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it.
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04-26-2012 06:59 by
snotty
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So I'm in line at Walgreens,,, The lady ahead of me turns around & whispers to me she has diarrhea. Apparently,, I have a "Tell me if you have diarrhea" face..
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04-26-2012 20:19 by
snotty
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Hey Girls,,, When a guy says "I'm listening",, what he means is "I bet if Godzilla had machine guns for arms he'd be unstoppable".
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04-27-2012 16:59 by
snotty
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You'd think the crescent roll's packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.
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04-28-2012 07:22 by
snotty
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Well APPARENTLY,,,, baby powder + water does not make a baby................... Myth,, BUSTED...
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04-28-2012 07:33 by
snotty
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My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon..
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04-28-2012 07:35 by
snotty
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My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
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04-28-2012 07:37 by
snotty
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Why spend all that time in school to be a doctor,, when you can save lives by forwarding an email or reposting a status on your Facebook wall?
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04-28-2012 07:41 by
snotty
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So this midget walks into a mini bar........
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04-28-2012 07:44 by
snotty
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Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.
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04-28-2012 08:46 by
snotty
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Ha Ha!! For the past two weeks I've just been giving a bowl of alphabet soup a stir,, and posting whatever floats to the top.
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04-28-2012 08:48 by
snotty
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A bird crapped in my hair earlier today,,, in case you were wondering why the birdhouse in my back yard has so many bullet holes in it.
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04-28-2012 13:11 by
snotty
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