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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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Something seems to be wrong with my butt today, as I can't seem to get off of it.
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12-20-2010 19:15 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
1
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The oldest written recipe is for beer. Even when most people couldn't read or write, they knew they had to mark that down somehow.
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12-20-2010 19:13 by
Marshall the Great
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Kids, when I was your age, the ENTIRE family shared one phone, and it was attached to the kitchen wall by a cord. We couldn't even update our Facebook status from it.
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12-20-2010 19:10 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Drinking won't solve your problems, but it will give you lots of interesting new ones.
61
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12-20-2010 19:07 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I just coughed and sneezed at the same time, I think I traveled 3 seconds into the future.
114
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12-20-2010 19:05 by
Marshall the Great
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3
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I really wish I hadn't heard that, I would be so much happier not knowing.
5
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12-20-2010 19:04 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Gonna try grocery shopping drunk. Can't believe I've never thought if this before.
43
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12-20-2010 19:04 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
7
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Tortilla chips - aka The Mexican Fork
43
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12-20-2010 18:56 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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When picking out a name for your kid make sure it's something you won't mind saying a BILLION times.
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12-20-2010 18:55 by
Marshall the Great
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Who would win: Twenty years of experience combined with specialized professional training vs. Google?
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12-20-2010 18:54 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.
35
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12-20-2010 18:51 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Any one can stay true to your face, it's the people who stay true behind your back that really count.
32
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12-20-2010 18:50 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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A girl I know went to apply for a job at Hooters. She said there was no application, they gave her a bra and said, "Here fill this out."
50
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12-19-2010 14:54 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
2
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People ask me... Why do you keep your wallet in your front pocket? I say... I like walking towards money not away from it.
35
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12-19-2010 14:51 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Sorry to hear about the whole “losing your mind thing.” But I know you pretty well and I don't think you'll miss it.
17
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12-19-2010 14:31 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Updating my resume... What's a fancy way to say, "I haven't done anything for the past 6 months?"
29
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12-19-2010 14:25 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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The guy next to me just ordered a shot of Jacks Daniels and a chaser of Italian dressing. I can't decide if he's crazy or a genius.
27
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12-19-2010 14:24 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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At the grocery store, they usually have 6 check out lanes open, unless it's really busy, then they only use one.
110
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12-19-2010 14:23 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
133
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12-17-2010 18:20 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner??
61
11
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12-17-2010 18:19 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
1
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