Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon And suddenly the neighbors who left their Christmas lights up all year seem like geniuses.
←Rate | 12-04-2019 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a notification like: “Karen took your Facebook post personally. Would you like to unfriend her?”
←Rate | 12-25-2019 14:31 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Amish powerball is up to 200 chickens & a goat.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just caught my pecker in my zipper.. no more zip up boots for me.
←Rate | 02-27-2020 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to panic buying Walmart has open register #3
←Rate | 03-11-2020 20:46 by MarkM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whelp, it looks like another day we're not going to cure the coronavirus with our Facebook posts.
←Rate | 03-13-2020 20:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I started homeschooling today. So far two students are suspended and the teacher was fired for drinking on the job...
←Rate | 03-18-2020 09:32 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve noticed many people are much more attractive wearing a mask.
←Rate | 05-15-2020 09:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well… This is one way to get Mexico to build that wall
←Rate | 06-02-2020 09:36 by Disgustedby2020 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheesecake Factory to start reopening restaurants but they will only have a limited 413-page menu.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are all the non essential oils out of work now?.
←Rate | 06-09-2020 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a tattoo on your face, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at
←Rate | 04-17-2018 04:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon * 21st century where deleting history is more important than making it.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Dos Equis guy: Seriously. What guy DOESN'T think he's the most interesting man in the world after he's had a few beers?
←Rate | 06-18-2018 11:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
←Rate | 07-16-2018 17:16 by BobbyT Comments (0)  


   messageicon A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
←Rate | 07-18-2018 07:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We'll both regret it soon enough.
←Rate | 08-13-2018 13:20 by Reuben Comments (0)  


   messageicon " I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb."
←Rate | 08-16-2018 22:17 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Girlfriend said she's leaving in the morning because of my "Wham" obsession! I replied... "wake me up before you go go"
←Rate | 09-15-2018 16:00 by Truman Comments (0)  



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