Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Listen. You can keep retaking all the pictures you want, but that's what your face looks like. 
grew up in a time when pluto was a planet.
don't wake me up i'm working
hates people that take drugs... customs for example
might be schizophrenic; but at least I'll always have each other
you know it's a strange day when a volkswagen pulls up in your driveway and a dozen clowns exit.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem
Happy run out and spend money you don't have on things you wouldn't otherwise buy to prove you love someone who if they need things bought for them to prove you love them probably shows they don't truly love you anyway day!
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
If you cant dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bull sh!t
a little less conversation, a little more action please!!
trying to give me the finger is like giving a spider the web. I'm just gonna spin it and use it to my advantage =)
Men: You can't live with them, but you can't have heterosexual sex without them. DAMN!!
What? That's not what "do the robot" means? It's a dance? Oh god. I am SO sorry about your robot.
The Old Lie: "The check is in the mail." The New Lie: "I haven't checked my email."
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
just admitted himself into the hokey pokey institute...I figure it a way to turn my life around.
Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
The only time of the year where it's ok to take candy from a stranger or a baby 