Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon That thing people do with their mouth when they're using their tongue to get food out of their teeth, I bet there's porn for that.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I consider the cup half empty or half full? Depends on whether I'm emptying it or filling it.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a fashion report saying that with low riding jeans in style, butt cracks are the new cleavage. What was wrong with the old cleavage???
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bowl cuts will never go out of style. Unless they somehow become stylish first.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend of mine told me he doesn't drink beer. I wonder what he does with it?
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your Honor, please direct the witness to answer the question. I'll ask it once again. Why are you hitting yourself?
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The gang war between the squirrels and the raccoons must be escalating, based on the number of drive-by victims on the side of the road.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon finally figured out what mosquitoes are for. They're God's way of making us slap ourselves.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 19:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a very good chance that you don't understand probability.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actions speak louder than words. Especially if that action is yelling.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only talk sh*t when I'm strategically located near bouncers.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a large group of lions is a Pride, what is a large group of housecats? Shame.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll bet the watch I left at home feels naked without me.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Observation: Any story that ends with "Anyway, it was really funny" is not really funny.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try to keep your mind out of the gutter. Your body, too.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please note that The Netherlands, Never-Neverland, and The Netherworld are three different places.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please dont ask me if I want a tour.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon For sale: Mini large-screen TV. Save space! Only 27"! Also available: giant portable TV. A whopping 27"!
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying irregardless makes you sound irridiculous.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:19 by Joser Comments (0)  



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