Baddie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Lime flies when you're having rum.
←Rate | 09-05-2014 09:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you use the word “extravaganza” in a poster for your party I immediately assume it will be held in a retirement home.
←Rate | 09-04-2014 02:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like the girl sitting in front of me on this bus doesn't want me to braid her hair.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 13:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone's ok with that.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 13:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don't run into anyone you know
←Rate | 09-02-2014 13:33 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Energetic people who say "I'll sleep when I'm dead", are already dead to me.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 13:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who leaked the Jennifer Lawrence pictures may be the first man to ever die of too many hi fives
←Rate | 09-02-2014 01:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
←Rate | 08-30-2014 14:10 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
←Rate | 08-30-2014 11:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon my vodka just did the ice bucket challenge.
←Rate | 08-30-2014 10:36 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Jackson could do a very realistic Thriller video right now.
←Rate | 08-29-2014 15:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
←Rate | 08-28-2014 00:27 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When two sets of boobs cross paths, the larger set has the right of way.
←Rate | 08-25-2014 08:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
←Rate | 08-25-2014 08:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
←Rate | 08-24-2014 06:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon MARRIAGE TIP: Don't get fat.
←Rate | 08-24-2014 05:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No its not a nightmare. You are just married.
←Rate | 08-24-2014 05:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I'm behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
←Rate | 08-23-2014 09:43 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who get drunk after one beer: what's it like, being criminally insane?
←Rate | 08-23-2014 09:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure which is worse: People who try to force their religion onto you. Or people who insist on telling you about their daily horoscope.
←Rate | 08-23-2014 07:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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