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Snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 12 of 22
I just bought some jokes from IKEA,,,, I'm still not sure how to put them together with this Hex Thingy......
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04-17-2012 07:06 by
snotty
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I'm also not a JETS fan,,, but on E-Bay, If I ever see a old, used,, Dirty Sanchez jersey,, I'm TOTALLY buying that too....
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04-17-2012 07:14 by
snotty
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HEY,,,I've already lined up an auctioneer to read my eulogy...... No one likes drawn out funerals.... You're welcome.
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04-17-2012 13:06 by
snotty
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BTW,, I won't walk a mile even in my own friggin shoes,,,, So,,
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04-17-2012 13:09 by
snotty
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Considering the odds are about the same, I think it would be nice if we let the people literally "struck by lightning",, be the lottery winners...
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04-17-2012 19:44 by
snotty
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Doing my taxes this morning was so frustrating that most of my refund will be heading right back into the swear jar.
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04-17-2012 21:01 by
snotty
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If you had a terrible childhood,,, you're gonna be REALLY-bummed out by Bank of America's options for security questions.
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04-17-2012 21:16 by
snotty
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And speaking of my EX,, " Divorce is Strong with this one." >> Darth Vader, Marriage counselor..
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04-18-2012 07:48 by
snotty
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“Use divorce, Luke...” – Obi Wan, marriage counselor
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04-18-2012 07:49 by
snotty
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HEY,,,People of Canada: Why do you leave all of your coins here?
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04-18-2012 08:03 by
snotty
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If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead.
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04-18-2012 17:49 by
snotty
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My 3yo asked where the bathroom was at the park because he had to pee. I said Son,,, you're a boy....The world is your toilet..
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04-18-2012 17:53 by
snotty
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HEY!!,,,,,They're not letting me post during the intervention for my Facebook addiction.
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04-18-2012 17:55 by
snotty
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My blended dairy drink attracts young men to my yard & they proclaim its superiority to yours...I can give tutorage,, but require compensation.
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04-18-2012 18:02 by
snotty
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Batman has a lot of cool toys,, but if he uses anything but a laser pointer to catch Catwoman in the next movie,, I'll be really disappointed.
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04-18-2012 20:33 by
snotty
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The bad part about getting my hand stuck right now in a Pringles can is that I can't get it out,, because my other hand is stuck in a Pringles can.
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04-18-2012 20:40 by
snotty
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If I'm ever attacked by a gang of clowns, don't worry about me, cause I'll imediately "go for the juggler."
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04-19-2012 00:30 by
snotty
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God made everything + everything is made in China = God is Chinese???
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04-19-2012 00:31 by
snotty
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My dad thinks LOL stands for "Lots Of Love" and texted me "Dick Clark just passed . LOL"
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04-19-2012 03:22 by
snotty
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One of these days I'm going to show up at this WHO CARES hole-in-the-wall you just "checked in" on 4square & slap your phone out of your hand.
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04-20-2012 07:18 by
snotty
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