Local news is like Facebook. You get stories you don't care about, some jerk talks about weather and it all ends with pictures of animals doing funny stuff.
I'm not sure what I hate most about rain. The fact that it's cold, it's wet, or it instantly turns everyone else on the road but you into a bad driver.
Ran out of toilet paper... So I looked around for a suitable replacement. Found a box of Kleenex. Should've examined the box a little closer as it had an added bonus of Vicks Vapor Rub. Now the butt is icy hot. :/
I may be a 32 year OLD man with a slight belly in just a dirty white T-shirt and Hanes boxer briefs, but when I'm on my patio having a smoke I pose like I'm in Calvin Klein Photo Shoot.
My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?!? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite."