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   messageicon The hippopotamus can run faster than humans on land and can swim faster than humans in water. This means that the only way you can beat a hippopotamus in a triathlon is on a bicycle.
←Rate | 06-17-2020 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve had a lot more interest from women since I’ve been forced to wear a mask and I don’t know how to feel about that.
←Rate | 07-14-2020 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 10:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs conspiracy theories when reality is crazy enough lately. .. ugh
←Rate | 06-04-2017 16:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing to update. I'm just making it look like I'm doing something at a party so people won't talk to me.
←Rate | 07-16-2017 07:10 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
←Rate | 08-22-2017 13:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
←Rate | 09-14-2017 07:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to save money this Halloween. Place an empty bowl out with a sign. Please only take one piece of candy.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 18:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon my new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
←Rate | 01-06-2018 01:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I’m not sure who to believe
←Rate | 01-06-2018 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
←Rate | 01-08-2018 06:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, your smart devices can talk to each other now and they are giggling about you behind your back.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 20:25 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you buy weight loss products at GNC the only thing you'll lose is your money...
←Rate | 01-25-2018 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always ask if I can pay in bitcoins now, not because I have any but because I want to be cool
←Rate | 02-07-2018 11:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you receive a text/forward that says, ”Send it to all your friends,” then please don't consider me as your friend while forwarding it, thanks
←Rate | 04-03-2018 05:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you
←Rate | 04-04-2018 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It wasn’t me" - First rule of fart club
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida traffic is a confusing mix of NASCAR rejects and people old enough to have owned a Model T.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 14:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 02:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
←Rate | 04-12-2018 07:06 Comments (0)  



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