Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon This day needs more yesterday...
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When caught with weed, never assume anything but the position...
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes a real Phil Collins fan to name one of their children Sussudio. That child is destined to stutter.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so adorable when my Mom calls and asks me for my "email number."
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. I will be randomly grabbing my crotch in his memory for the rest of the day.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:30 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity...
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a homophobophobe. Seriously, those bigots scare the heck out of me.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear DNA experts, please come up with a small insect that is genetically designed to annoy flies. Maybe even a small insect that bites mosquitoes. Thanks
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon in a constant state of Omphaloskepsis (look it up).
←Rate | 06-25-2010 19:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 19:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard the CEO of AT&T got married recently. The service was great but the reception was terrible.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 18:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 18:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can everyone who has an iPhone 4 stop talking about it until the rest of the world has them? Thanks.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon iPhone 4: Loses bars when you hold it, gets lost in bars when you don't.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, I realize I'm leaving early. But don't forget, I also came in late.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If two trains leave New York, one heading west at 40mph and the other heading south at 35mph, where are my car keys?
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon To whoever said "fight fire with fire": do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:21 by Joser Comments (0)  



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