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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 11 of 41
It's so adorable when my Mom calls and asks me for my "email number."
39
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06-26-2010 14:30 by
Joser
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Today is the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. I will be randomly grabbing my crotch in his memory for the rest of the day.
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06-26-2010 14:30 by
Joser
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I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity...
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06-26-2010 14:25 by
Joser
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I'm a homophobophobe. Seriously, those bigots scare the heck out of me.
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06-26-2010 14:24 by
Joser
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Dear DNA experts, please come up with a small insect that is genetically designed to annoy flies. Maybe even a small insect that bites mosquitoes. Thanks
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06-26-2010 14:24 by
Joser
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in a constant state of Omphaloskepsis (look it up).
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06-25-2010 19:11 by
Joser
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Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
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06-25-2010 19:09 by
Joser
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I heard the CEO of AT&T got married recently. The service was great but the reception was terrible.
27
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06-25-2010 18:37 by
Joser
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Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.
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06-25-2010 18:26 by
Joser
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Can everyone who has an iPhone 4 stop talking about it until the rest of the world has them? Thanks.
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06-24-2010 23:35 by
Joser
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0
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iPhone 4: Loses bars when you hold it, gets lost in bars when you don't.
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06-24-2010 23:34 by
Joser
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Yes, I realize I'm leaving early. But don't forget, I also came in late.
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06-24-2010 23:27 by
Joser
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If two trains leave New York, one heading west at 40mph and the other heading south at 35mph, where are my car keys?
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06-24-2010 23:25 by
Joser
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To whoever said "fight fire with fire": do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
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06-24-2010 23:25 by
Joser
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I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
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06-24-2010 23:24 by
Joser
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Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
38
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06-24-2010 23:23 by
Joser
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I'm not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
12
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06-24-2010 23:21 by
Joser
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0
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That thing people do with their mouth when they're using their tongue to get food out of their teeth, I bet there's porn for that.
21
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06-24-2010 23:21 by
Joser
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Do I consider the cup half empty or half full? Depends on whether I'm emptying it or filling it.
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06-24-2010 23:20 by
Joser
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Saw a fashion report saying that with low riding jeans in style, butt cracks are the new cleavage. What was wrong with the old cleavage???
75
14
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06-24-2010 23:19 by
Joser
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