Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Sometimes I wish I didn't live with this curse of being so awesome.

   Monday?! But, I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet....

   Someday, anthropologists will look back at these "mirror self-portraits" and refer to this time as the Bathroom Era.

   my common sense is tingling.

   Milk that says ‘98% fat free' should just come out and say, ‘Water with 2% milk'

   My little girl is an adult now! Happy 18th Birthday Justin Bieber. :)

   Hey Science, "mission accomplished" on the b0ner pills. How about a laptop battery that will stay up for four hours.

   Its a dog, not an accessory! Get that poor thing outta your purse lady!!

   Tip: Always say the stain on your shirt is from today.

   I have written a list of all the good and bad things I wanna do tonight. And you are number one on both sides.

   Wendy's idea of a medium could save an African village.

   A crazy girlfriend is cute. But a crazy Ex-girlfriend is a nightmare

   E=MC2 ...ish

   Somewhere in the world, a Jehovah Witness is plotting his next door knock.

   At a cemetery, looking for my name on tombstones. This is the Goth version of Googling yourself

   I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.

   I am not a mirror: I see you completely differently from the way you see yourself. Bear that in mind next time you want to ask me how you look.

   'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

   When I say "I won't tell anyone", my best friend doesn't count.

   Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Lets raise awareness.