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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 10 of 15
I just yawned and my last girlfriends soul flew out.
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9
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09-24-2014 08:08 by
Baddie
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Every yawn is a potential blowjob if you're fast enough.
66
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09-20-2014 13:13 by
Baddie
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Contrary to popular belief, cats actually love water. You just have to set them on fire first.
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09-20-2014 12:41 by
Baddie
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No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
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09-20-2014 12:36 by
Baddie
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Congratulations on your internet fame! Now table six could really use some more coffee.
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09-20-2014 12:32 by
Baddie
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*takes out one earbud* "not guilty, your honor"
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09-20-2014 12:27 by
Baddie
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i don't understand the hype around iOS8, people update java and adobe flash player on a daily basis and don't tell everyone about it.
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09-20-2014 12:23 by
Baddie
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Girlfriend said "Do you want to go to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert?" & I said "Do you want to have a different boyfriend that isn't me"
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09-19-2014 02:15 by
Baddie
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Hey kids, see that new sports car over there? Well your old man got a promotion today & got some new glasses so I also see the car. nice car
5
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09-19-2014 02:14 by
Baddie
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None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because dogs can only bark.
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09-19-2014 02:08 by
Baddie
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The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
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09-19-2014 01:27 by
Baddie
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Sorry boss, I set my alarm for 7PM instead of 7AM and that's why I haven't been at work in one week.
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09-19-2014 00:28 by
Baddie
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Yesterday I heard a young white kid tell his mom "I hate you and you annoy me, you stupid b*tch" Then a black woman slapped me just for hearing it
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09-18-2014 14:26 by
Baddie
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Sorry I pissed on your leg. I thought you were flirting with me.
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09-18-2014 14:06 by
Baddie
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That's easy, here, hold my beer for a sec..
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09-18-2014 14:00 by
Baddie
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The Black Eyed Peas are just regular peas that got on an elevator with Ray Rice.
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09-17-2014 13:44 by
Baddie
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0
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Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter
27
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09-17-2014 01:59 by
Baddie
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0
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I got 69 problems. My girlfriend is a midget.
40
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09-17-2014 01:56 by
Baddie
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0
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He died doing what he loved: checking to see if bears are ticklish.
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09-17-2014 01:51 by
Baddie
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Well, well, well...look who's crawling back, asking me to repair the axle on their wheelchair.
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09-17-2014 01:49 by
Baddie
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