Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Women are as horny as men; they just hide their b0ners better.

   You know sex is on the menu when she slingshots her bra across the room.

   Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.

   Let's get drunk and cuddle, coz I want to cuddle your brains out tonight.

   How to trick an idiot → (Click here for more...)

   Keeping me happy is simple, don't mess with my food.

   When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny.

   A woman's heart is as tender, vulnerable and fragile as a man's balls. Don't break hers and she won't break yours.

   You win some, you booze some.

   Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are dating now,& apparently it's getting serious. Kanye is who she wants to spend the rest of the month with.

   For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.

   The best things in life are free. The worst things in life will cost you half of everything you own.

   Your Body is a Temple, let the Spirits in....preferably in shot form.

   If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   Good looks are so important when choosing a doctor.

   "I wasn't that drunk." "Dude you logged into Myspace"

   "Be honest with me" means "lie convincingly".

   You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives here.

   If your bio says “Single and looking for fun” you better be ugly or we'll know you're sp@m. Pretty women don't look for fun… fun finds them.