snotty Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'snotty': View All Messages
Page: 10 of 22

   messageicon Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 08:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pharmacists should stuff every third prescription bottle with one of those snakes that pops out at you... cuz laughter is the best medicine.
←Rate | 10-26-2013 18:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
←Rate | 03-27-2013 19:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,, I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 01:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a parent,, Just go in your kitchen, scatter cheetos and sugar. Then yell Stop,, No,, & Don't 300 times
←Rate | 09-25-2012 19:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
←Rate | 10-12-2012 12:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree.
←Rate | 10-03-2012 19:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won't keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
←Rate | 06-03-2015 10:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hold an empty Old Spice bottle to your ear, you can hear your grandpa complaining that someone touched the thermostat.
←Rate | 10-06-2015 19:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BUMPER STICKER IDEA: I had sex with my wife and all I got was this honor student.
←Rate | 05-26-2015 19:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if your invited to someone's 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
←Rate | 11-09-2014 21:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep a xylophone on me at all times,, just incase I have to tip toe anywhere
←Rate | 04-06-2013 10:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have a dog whistle,,,, you can use two teenage girls who have not seen each other in a month.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 20:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
←Rate | 08-05-2013 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon * Walk in jury duty.... * Hand both lawyers a copy of my latest status updates..... * Walk out of jury duty....
←Rate | 03-08-2013 14:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever go missing,,, I hope they put my photo on bottles of OCD medication, cuz you know those people won't stop looking.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 21:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
←Rate | 07-04-2015 10:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
←Rate | 08-09-2014 21:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'.... I'll turn around and look.
←Rate | 01-22-2016 07:23 by snotty Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left