jdpower Funny Status Messages

   My pen!s ejects bronzer if any of you ladies need a spray tan

   Casey Anthony is still a MILF.. The 'M' just stands for Murderer.

   I have Bieber Fever. I listened to a song by Justin Bieber and now have a 103 degree temperature, I'm throwing up, and have a huge headache.

   I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....

   The most stunning thing about Obama's nuclear announcement was that we have a President who can pronounce "nuclear."

   Study: 50% of Jumbotron Marriage Proposals.. End in Jumbotron Divorce.

   When there was only one set of footprints, that was when Jesus was flying. What, you don't think Jesus can FLY??

   There are two types of people in the world - those who have had Dinty Moore's Beef Stew and those who have not.

   In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.

   California judge overturns Proposition 8 gay marriage ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server crashes

   Sarah Palin probably thinks Obama's drilling plan doesn't go far enough in terms of wrecking the environment.

   Obama checks Declaration of Independence.. fails to find National Treasure map on back.

   The saxophone still hasn't been brought to justice for everything it did in the 1980s.

   These E*Trade babies probably annoy everyone in the bar when they play Golden Tee.

   If aliens landed & saw Glenn Beck, they'd be like, "Oh, he has a show here too?"

   Tried to log into my WellsFargo.com account with my MILF-Hunter.com password. Oh, whatever, like you never did that!