Eddy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon ‎"im thankful the idiot with the gun was too drunk to aim "---living turkey
←Rate | 11-05-2011 20:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should just change my name to "Han" because it looks like I'm gonna stay solo *forever alone*
←Rate | 01-05-2013 00:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy
←Rate | 02-11-2013 22:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon people get so mad at me in the self-checkout lane....i stand there checking myself out just like the name says. they say I take too long
←Rate | 03-01-2013 02:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon too bad Mr. Rogers isnt still alive to have facebook & do the games...then he really can be our neighbor
←Rate | 09-16-2011 21:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you burn the turkey, just tell the family they're eating blackbird
←Rate | 11-24-2016 06:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was out there on a boat or scuba diving, It'd be "shart week" for me
←Rate | 07-27-2017 03:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sure the white house has leaks....it's an old building
←Rate | 08-11-2017 05:48 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon automatic doors make me feel like a jedi
←Rate | 05-03-2015 21:29 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only person wondering why Bernie Sanders never joined the military to someday be a colonel?
←Rate | 04-09-2016 22:20 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon forget Mardi Gras....for me every Tuesday is a fat Tuesday
←Rate | 03-04-2014 20:57 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday
←Rate | 05-07-2014 22:28 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon theres too many car dealers around so I'm gonna go different... I'm gonna sell unicycles. i'll be the only one in the region so I'll get all the sales
←Rate | 10-19-2011 12:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon we stuff the turkey but in the end the turkey stuffs us
←Rate | 11-24-2011 16:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings
←Rate | 11-30-2011 16:14 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it when you go to a restaurant their radio is never playing the song "ding, fries are done" from family guy?...seems like a catchy tune for a restaurant
←Rate | 01-11-2012 18:10 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pence should consider himself lucky....worse has happened with presidents at theaters
←Rate | 11-20-2016 01:50 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon youtube is red, facebook is blue, I'm so lonely with nothing to do
←Rate | 02-01-2013 22:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wonder if the Pillsbury Doughboy has a Facebook account &when his friends "poke" him he makes the little noise like in the commercials
←Rate | 11-08-2013 22:30 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon does fantasizing about the cheerleaders count as "fantasy football"?
←Rate | 06-24-2012 01:08 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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