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Czovczov Funny Status Messages
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Page: 1 of 11
"Can we talk for a minute?" is code for, "I am going to ruin the next 6 hours of your life with this bad news here."
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07-06-2013 12:26 by
Czovczov
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0
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My dream is to become the first smart person to be interviewed by a newscaster live at a scene.
60
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10-10-2012 03:47 by
Czovczov
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0
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it's also my cellphone.
131
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12-19-2011 02:46 by
Czovczov
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My phone just autocorrected kindergarten to Kardashian and that, people, is exactly what is wrong with this world.
101
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04-30-2015 13:35 by
Czovczov
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The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
53
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04-17-2014 08:50 by
Czovczov
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I hate when people say 'I'm a vegetarian except for fish.' Right, and I'm a virgin except for all that sex I had.
123
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09-26-2012 14:23 by
Czovczov
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2
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If steroids and other performance enhancing drugs are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal for models?
105
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12-30-2011 11:39 by
Czovczov
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0
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Spread your lies elsewhere, turkey bacon.
87
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09-16-2013 14:45 by
Czovczov
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Yes there's plenty of fish in the sea, but don't forget about the sharks, seaweed, oil spills, toxic waste and the Somali pirates.
81
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11-16-2011 01:19 by
Czovczov
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My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.
86
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08-25-2012 11:16 by
Czovczov
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0
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If your religion is worth killing for, then do us all a favour and start with yourself.
166
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09-15-2012 12:01 by
Czovczov
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0
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You had me at 0 mutual friends
80
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01-27-2015 12:36 by
Czovczov
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0
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Its called KARMA and its pronounced "Ha ha you got served what you deserve"
40
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01-25-2014 08:30 by
Czovczov
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0
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I try to avoid nice people so they can stay that way.
40
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10-20-2012 12:40 by
Czovczov
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0
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When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
177
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11-25-2012 10:53 by
Czovczov
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0
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At the cinema. ME: Two tickets please! CASHIER: For the Hobbit? ME: How dare you sir, she's my date.
97
17
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12-22-2012 00:19 by
Czovczov
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0
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Suicide Bomber Training: "Pay attention because I'm only going to show you this once..."
114
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02-24-2012 11:55 by
Czovczov
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0
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Many women say a guy who makes them laugh is all they want. They fail to mention all the things it takes to put them in the mood to laugh.
74
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08-28-2012 14:37 by
Czovczov
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0
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If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?
182
32
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09-18-2012 12:23 by
Czovczov
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0
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I've been told by several women that I'm a great listener. A majority of whom, have huge boobs.
91
16
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01-04-2012 13:47 by
Czovczov
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0
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