has just read his wife's magazines and there seems to be two topics of major importance to women: .1) Why men are such disgusting pigs and .2) How to attract a man!
purchased his own Taser off the internet yesterday. In a totally unconnected incident, I've got to buy a cat to replace the neighbour's one this afternoon (and it must be identical looking)........
still confused after one of the presenters on Children in Need said, "pick up your phone and pledge". I'm still sitting here with the phone in one hand and a can of furniture polish in the other, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do next.
is in the money!! I've just won $50,000 on the Nigerian Lottery (well after I've sent the £250 processing fee). Not a bad days work, especially as I never entered it in the first place!
thinks Santa is a judgemental twat who bears a grudge. I've explained the Elves incident a hundred times now. So what if I was caught naked with one of his helpers in a cupboard, it was all an innocent mistake!