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Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way. 
"Doctor, I been having some trouble with my Hearing".....Can you describe the symptoms?....."Sure.. Marge has blue hair, and Homer is fat!"
My ex once told me we need to speak the same language... so I ordered Rosetta Stone crazy edition so I could learn to communicate in her native tongue!
how do you spell procrastination? F-A-C-E-B-O-O-K...
Still in bed, the kid asked me to come downstairs... said he wanted to show me something "totally awesome." If it's not a bacon tower, I'm gonna be pissed.
Evidently that good Samaritan bullsh*t doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car.
if your lookin for Sympathy it is in the dictionary between S*it and Syphilis...
wondering why do women always open their mouths when they put on mascara?
Two blondes were driving to Disneyland and the exit sign reads: DISNEYLAND LEFT. They started crying...
I remember when vampires were scary, and not some twink with six-pack abs.
the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.
My New Year's Resolution is to finish what I star........
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is to know when they're in big trouble.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head
probably going to Hell in at least 2 different religions
Why hasn't BP used my solution yet to stop that oil leak? Simple AND brilliant...contact Tampax, have the worlds largest tampon made. Stick it in the hole....TADA, no more leak...AND the BP execs will be able to go horseback riding afterwards.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
He sees me when I'm eating, He knows that I'm too fat, he sees the indentation on the chair where I just sat ...
too many people buy stuff they don't want, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like
The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.
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