Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Just a quick post, to wish you all a merry politically-correct non-denominational 'Winterfest'-type holiday, and a happy Gregorian calendar reset. 
I'm assuming everyone else also spent the whole day stockpiling downloaded porn to their computer too; just in case SOPA passes, right guys?
I wonder if Winnie the Poo ever said, Tigger Please!
I'd like to see a UPS man fall out of his door-less truck when he takes a corner too fast.
I'm always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he'll spare my life when he finally snaps.
I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
Anyone else wake up in a hotel room....with farm animals...If so, I could use some advice...and maybe a ride...and apparently some clothes too...some holy water wouldn't hurt either,,,,
not a Paraskevidekatriaphobic!!! Happy Friday The 13th everyone!!!
Whenever I exit a public toilet, I make sweaty eye contact with the person waiting & say "Top that, cowboy."
txted my GF while partying in Vegas saying "Hi Huney,iam enjoying alot ,wish you were her", after that I realised what a spelling mistake could do.
drinking till I'm someone else's problem
wondering what people in China call their good dishes?????
It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than you actually are.
So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?
surprised that, during his press conference, Tiger didn't give thanks for being honored with the Enviromentalist of the Year Award. The one he recieved for picking up all that white trash.
It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life the week before you get married.
Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies.
I say "do I smell popcorn" right after I fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar". 