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always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs. 
wants to thank all of those on his friends list that invited him to be their friend and aint bothered to speak to him. Well worth it. Cheers.
gonna sing karaoke over the Wal-Mart intercom tonight
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey.
Once you start down that dark path, forever it will dominate your destiny. At least; that's what Yoda says. I'm still testing the theory...
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her
it's also Enunciate, not ANnunciate. ;)
Constipated People Don't Give A crap
I'd still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
Imagination is something that sits up with Dad and Mom the first time their teenager stays out late."
I can tell when were expecting company because suddenly the toilet paper rolls have to go on the dispenser.
I ran this morning and there was nothing chasing me. There is something fundamentally wrong with that.
can't seem to turn off the wildlife feature on his GPS... every now and then it tells me, "In 500 feet, bear left!" Like that's not gonna scare the crap out of me!
officially resigning from adulthood!!! ...if you want to discuss this further you'll have to catch me first, cos... "Tag! You're it."
The person who said "nothing's impossible!" has never seen me doing nothing.
When a man speaks, people listen, then look. When a woman speaks, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
Nothing freaks me out more than touching a surface that was unexpectedly wet with some unknown liquid.
Forgetfulness is the device your mind uses to tell you what is important and what isn't.
wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.
Don't be afraid of rejection..It hurts, but you won't die from it.!!! 