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Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 15
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That's about as organic you're gonna get out of me.
38
7
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07-01-2014 01:03 by
Baddie
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0
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The most important thing I look for from a potential employer is a bathroom with a good network connection.
38
7
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06-22-2012 15:57 by
Baddie
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0
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My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian.
38
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11-01-2012 13:50 by
Baddie
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0
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It's racial profiling when a waiter in a Chinese restaurant gives me a fork.
65
12
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06-24-2014 01:08 by
Baddie
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Sorry I can't go out tonight, I can't find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
65
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08-08-2014 01:18 by
Baddie
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Instead of donating my body to science, I'll donate it to whoever has the best idea for a practical joke involving a dead body.
65
12
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11-07-2014 00:33 by
Baddie
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0
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Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
65
12
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08-30-2013 08:58 by
Baddie
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If I've learned anything from movies, it's that most murder cases are only solved after a detective is suspended but ignores the suspension.
81
15
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08-04-2014 14:53 by
Baddie
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My neighbor swears he was anally probed by an alien. Anyone want a slightly used alien costume?
81
15
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10-09-2012 14:49 by
Baddie
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I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
54
10
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09-30-2014 13:23 by
Baddie
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Okay guys thats enough. Let's all agree to stop drawing on Lil Wayne while he's passed out drunk.
54
10
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06-21-2012 15:58 by
Baddie
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0
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Not to brag, but when it comes to "going nowhere fast," I'm breaking every speed record known to man.
27
5
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07-10-2012 13:35 by
Baddie
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BET AWARDS MAYHEM - this happens every time these people get together. No, I don't mean b lack people, I mean silly rap ''artists''.
27
5
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09-30-2012 00:20 by
Baddie
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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
27
5
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11-18-2013 12:50 by
Baddie
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0
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The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote.
97
18
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06-04-2012 14:33 by
Baddie
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0
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That woman's husband on the cover of TIME looks awfully young.
70
13
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05-13-2012 09:12 by
Baddie
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0
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My dentist just spent an hour in my mouth. So I get it girls, I get it.
70
13
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02-21-2014 08:30 by
Baddie
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0
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Ladies; If you friend zone me you have to at least change clothes in front of me like you would a gay guy. Them are the rules.
43
8
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03-19-2014 13:30 by
Baddie
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0
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You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.
43
8
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12-21-2014 01:11 by
Baddie
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0
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Unless there's a new app that lets you shoot people, that phone holster looks ridiculous.
43
8
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07-18-2012 13:19 by
Baddie
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