JOser Funny Status Messages

   Stop everything you're doing... Think about me... You're welcome...

   The only thing that could make this pizza better would be an s.

   I don't tell lies, just fiction short stories

   It's Cinco de Mayo! Or, as they call it in Arizona, "May fifth let me see your papers."

   Some day Bristol Palin will tell her child "I made $15,000 a speech telling kids how to avoid making a mistake like you!"

   HECK is where you go if you don't believe in GOSH

   Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

   I have a chip on my shoulder(Cool Ranch Dorito)

   Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

   ♫ ♫ My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?♫ ♫ Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard... ♫ ♫

   All my friends who have Girlfriends want to be single... All my friends who are single want girlfriend friends... As for me, I just want a slave...

   Every time I hear a strange noise at night, I mentally prepare to fight off an intruder. If it's a velociraptor, I'm also totally ready.

   I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

   BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James chooses DirecTV over Comcast and Dish Network.

   One hair on your head is not enough...but one hair in your food is too much.

   I find Reality tv very educating... Every time somebody turns on a show, I go into the other room and read a book...

   Interesting Factoid: Tall people earn $789 per year per inch more than shorter people.

   COME TO THE DORK SIDE...We Have Computers And High-Speed Internet With A Pentium 4 Processor ^_^

   Be rude to a bully and he'll beat you up, be rude to a geek and your computer will never forgive you.

   I heard that if you sneak into the new twilight movie and blast justin bieber, the combination impregnates everyone.