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The only women who have brains are the ones who have not had them banged out of her yet. 
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
Give Tiger a break. Obama is screwing the WHOLE country!
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!
bumped into this cat at the gas station this morning getting coffee and he told me "Asalamalakum." I told him "I also like the Lakers!"
Breaking News: Jesus being charged with manslaughter after Oklahoma woman let him take the wheel resulting in a head on collision.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?... ME: Cause you got beat up in High School??.. COP: ???... ME: Cause you got beat up in High School,,, Sir?
Q-What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower? A-Promoted
The Gaga Law: (RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO(MA+MAA) + (GA)^2+OOH(LA)^2 = BAD ROMANCE
Its only when you get to know some of these people who smoke that you realise that Cancer can sometimes be a solution not a problem.
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wondering why people who work at Tim Hortons are SLOW? I mean come on are you that screwed up in which you actually have to ask someone if they "would like a tray" for those 5 coffees they ordered. Use your brain people!!!
your father smells of elder berries
I drew a gun. He drew a gun. I drew another gun. Soon we were surrounded by lovely drawings of guns.
If you ain't never been to the Suburbs; Don't ever come to the Suburbs.... 'Cause you wouldn't understand the Suburbs... So stay the F@#% out of the Suburbs!!!
Whats Brown and hides in the attic? The diarhea of Ann Frank!
Every notice Bl acks are too good to eat a Buger King but they are good enough to get off the interstate come in make a mess of the restroom and leave.
Her: Do you think I'm pretty? Me: Honey, I lick you where babies come out...thats how much pretty I think you are.
You know the difference between Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg? Martha Stewart is a convicted felon.
My favorite part of sex is right at the beginning when you lift up the tail. 