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I've been f***ed up by Karma so many times I could write the KaRma Sutra by now… 
It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.
picking all the W's out of their M & M's, gosh, there's just so many! :/
Happy National Weed Day!!!
I drink everyday that ends in “y”, I sleep everyday that ends in “y' I wish I could say the same about sex!
Kevin says: " Ive been poking this girl on facebook for a while.... But I dont get it.. All I do is poke her, and thats it.. no conversation, no thank you... no nothing.. WTF? :]"
Just had a customer call me for a quote, and he SANG me all his information..... so I sang back.. " ? If you're crazy and you know it take your pills! ?.... Didnt get the sale..
I'm good at reading between the lines when I'm doing cocaine off of a Kindle™.
its POOP again....Don't put it out with your boots TED!!!
The 186th rule of Fight Club is there is no such thing as a male BFF...!
The Skirt, skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your ass!!
With all the disease in this world, I'm just happy I didn't catch "The Stupid", or any other airborne illness like Freckles
DON'T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE
Watching the neighbors climb in their SUV with dirt shovels and a rolled up carpet hmmm.... oh well
needs money for alcohol research. Please donate.
Slutty Is The New Trend..Well Aren't You Just The Little Trend Setter?
Failure is not an Option, and Defeat is not a Choice!
born with two helpings of brains but only half a helping of heart
Some days I wake up Grumpy....other days I let her sleep in....
wants to play basketball with the president and dunk on his delegates.
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