Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Chris Hansen has been caught cheating on his wife, it's a good thing she wasn't underage or that would've been awkward. 
Don't know if anyone heard about this, but Pope Benedict XVI now has a Twitter account. No surprise his first tweet said "Praise our Lord Jesus Christ." Kinda weird that he added the "lol..."
Thinks that there should be handicapped parking for drunk and stoned people..just saying.
Q: What should you do if you meet a nympho? A: Thank your lucky stars, and start believing in God.
if they started putting missing childrens pis on beer cans instead of milk cartons, they'd be found within 15 mins..
I took my friend Damien (aka C-Brick) to see the premier of the new Planet of the Apes film. He spent most the night signing autographs after the movie....
Dear Smiley Face, can you take your quote and shove it up where the sun dont smile.
Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? A. He worked it out with a pencil
"never on cilantro, but always on thyme."
Two plus two is five given very large quantities of two.
If we are just going to hand the election to the person that gets more votes, then democracy is truly broken...sad.
The only Marx I want to hear about is Groucho
FOX needs to hire more women who look like Rachel Madcow. Problem solved.
If you thought 9/11 was bad, you definitely didn't see 11/9 coming...
With increased coal production the White House hopes to make steam locomotive travel popular again. Next up, whale oil lamps.
I gained an hour last weekend. I spent that hour figuring out how to change the clock in my car
How did cavemen meet women? They went clubbing.
Sooooo turtles don't eat pizza?
What the hell is up with "Fun sized" candy? There is nothing fun about less candy.
We should probably get ready for the Celebrity Plea for Donation....like they cant flip the bill themselves... 