Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Too sexy that if you go out with just one person, everybody will get jealous & depressed therefore killing themselves.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 19:51 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Googled "What women want" and a photo of me was shown.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife wants to go on Holiday and be treated like a Queen. So I brought her a ticket to India, as they worship cows over there.
←Rate | 04-29-2012 22:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between Mafia and the Pope is that his victims will DEFEND him! How perfect is that? RELIGION : It keeps simpletons happy!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 09:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stain in the front of women's panties is called "clitty litter."
←Rate | 06-27-2014 13:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says the art of typing an FB status is directly proportional to the work done on google search
←Rate | 02-25-2010 09:43 by S Comments (1)  


   messageicon says Once a cobra bit Bear Grylls' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just won the Australian lottery! I'll be a millionaire just as soon as I pay this $795 processing fee... Suckahs!!!
←Rate | 09-17-2009 08:18 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was your age, I didn't even know what drugs were!" The robot slaps the dad. Mom: "Haha! He's definitely YOUR son!" The robot slaps the mom.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 21:20 by legendarybonesnap Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laters FB... I'm tired of sharing my opinions And liking everybody's sh!t......and Pokin' folks I hardly even know... Peace Out! I'll do all that sh!t to y'all tomorrow.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew obama would win.. he's kenyan, and they ALWAYS win races!
←Rate | 11-07-2012 11:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's 76 in Miami. Global warming or just sweaty Cubans??
←Rate | 12-04-2012 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God made me in his image, does that mean he has a third nipple too?
←Rate | 07-16-2012 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its raining today, I guess my neighbors can't go to work today........They are mexican
←Rate | 08-06-2013 08:21 by capstubing85 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: If you said “all of my music is in the cloud” in the 1960s, it was due to mushrooms, not Apple.
←Rate | 09-20-2021 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon James Bond's favorite bartender is Michael J Fox.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never give up on your dreams. You can go from Slovakian call girl to First Lady if you put your mind to it.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:46 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Others drink Beer so the world circles around them.
←Rate | 09-25-2021 22:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steve Jobs dies....Hmmm...That's even more jobs lost during Obama's watch.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 12:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So let me get this right, I cant legally smoke marajuana, yet I can go to my local gun store and buy a Semi Automatic Machine Gun, a couple of grenades and all the ammo I want? Now who's the one that's been smoking something here?"
←Rate | 11-09-2010 10:20 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  



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