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Giraffe/camel...same thing. Unless you're looking at the toes. 
I recently saved a ton of money on my car insurance. By fleeing all scenes of accidents.
I wish when people called me, instead of getting my voicemail, they got diarrhea.
Remember: One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.
I enjoy long walks on the Internet ;)
I find the butchest way to eat a banana is to take my dress off.
I'm so hungry right now that Angelina Jolie should adopt me.
dont try to hold a fart coz it will travel up your spine, to your brain and thats where sh!++y ideas come from
My woman calls me the UPS man, cause I deliver that package right on time. Or it could be because I wear ugly brown shorts.
Sometimes there's no nicer feeling than pissing into a bottle But other times I hate my job at the bud lite factory
Now that the Euro2012 football has finished , I wonder how many husbands will go back to their wives only to find that they have been replaced by `Mr Christian Grey` and something that requires batteries ?!!!
Never buy a used phone. I mean idk about you but I usually take my phone with me when I'm taking a sh!t
My truck is probably the most expensive bird toilet I own.
Who's the best at Mud Wrestling... Girls from America or Girls from the UK? Only one way to find out... fiiiggghhhtt!....
Women plank on my bed every night.
Women should "learn to close softly the doors to rooms they will not be coming back to.”
When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.
This non stop Peyton Manning news is becoming a real pain in the neck.
you say it best when you say nothing at all
to the police officer : " Is not because I'm Drunk ! Is only because my Power Balance is not working! :Q 