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Today...had to go to the doctor with ear problems....he looked in my ear and told me I had ear wax and needed to flush it (O_O) I told him...I wasnt putting my head in one of them things (o_O) 
there's that old saying that "you are what you eat" so for Halloween i'm thinking of passing out dum dum suckers to the neighborhood kids
The Mich St/Indiana winner gets “The old brass spittoon”. I'm pretty sure Indiana lost on purpose…
I must be a good driver. Some scraggly looking guy on the side of the road just gave me a thumbs up!
I had a prince once. I traded him in for a man.
wishes she had some nuts right now :)
Wondering how much I owe Columbia House on those Use your illusion tapes :/
We're no strangers to love, you know the rules, and so do I....Yep, you just sang it, out loud, and realized that you have been RickRolled \m/
America is no longer the fattest country in the world. That honor belongs to Mexico now. In other news the Twinkie is making an historic comeback. Well played Mexico, Well played indeed!
i got so drunk I went fishing and caught a sharktopuss
A Fan Jumped on Stage and Pulls Beyonce Hair while she was Singing ? That's Messed up..
If a man needs to be taught how to fish, that man is a wussy.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, air pressure will suck your spine out of your butt, because you forgot to wear a spacesuit....... Idiot.
Sometimes I run toward people and get so frustrated that they don't know I want to do the Dirty Dancing lift. Then it just becomes awkward.
Getting kicked in the b@lls is more painful for men than having a baby is for women. Proof: When a woman has a baby she says "Ooo I want to have another baby!" When a man gets kicked in the b@lls, he never wants that again. So having a baby is not as bad.
Purposely wearing white today... the thug life continues.
Telling a woman to calm down when she's drunk, works about as well as baptizing a cat !
if a full moon makes you crazy, you were a crazy biotch to start with!
you will always be the answer, when somebody asks me what I'm thinking about
Maybe I should get a ventriloquist dummy to say all the ignorant things I think and blame it on the dummy!....lol 