Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If your going to shoot a black kid and claim self defense, make sure you dont lie to the judge, and have $135,000 worth of asset and 2 passports!! Take some bathsalt to the head afterwards if you thinking about it.

   good joke today...single people change ur realtionship status to "in a relation". when friends ask who it is say "april....April Fools"

   Welp, my facebook wall is full of religion today (Good Friday). This makes me exempt from attending Mass later, right?!?! Pretty sure I've been preached to enough for a day.

   I've yet to see a picture of an Occupy Wall Street protest that didn't make me say, "Hey, that's the guy who delivers my pizza."

   I love you in Blue...I love you in Red...But most of all...I love you in....Blue

   Text REDCROSS to 90999 to help the tornado victims. (This is a status we all should put up today to help these poor people)

   You'll have to speak-up, i'm wearing a towel.

   looʞs lıʞǝ ɟɐɔǝqooʞ ıs ɐʇ ıʇ ɐƃɐıu˙˙˙˙˙˙

   I got a Shake Weight for Christmas. I'm going to try strapping it to my pen!s.

   WHO'S PAYING FOR THE WALL!?!?!? It's : Mexico Mexic Mexi Mex Me.

   If this is a witch hunt, didn't it end when they found Kellyanne?

   I wish my husband was as concerned with “preheating” me as he is with the oven…

   I gotta give him credit. He sure knows how to lie like a politician.

   Do you realize that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes." and a guy's " I'll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same ?

   The best part of paying $49 for this new toy for my son's Christmas present is knowing how happy some other kid will be in 3 months when we donate it to a thrift store

   Want to see somethine scary? When your house is full of teenagers for the holidays, unplug your wi-fi.

   I need to open an Electronics store and call it The Ohm Depot.

   I'll bet Facebook made all those changes because they think we're black

   A t.v. christian dating site commercial : Hey Christians, want to be in a meaningful relationship? ...whoa whoa whoa...arent they IN a MEANINGFUL relationship...with GOD?

   On this date in 2005 Hurricane Katrina blow more black guys in one day then...Lisa Lampanelli has in 15 years...