Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I dont know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.... 
Babe I'm Pregnant" Guys be like: ♕ KEEP CALM I'll HELP YOU FIND THE FATHER
I wonder if Chris Dorner feels like he is jason Bourne
It’s frightening how much trust we put in toilet spray!
To this day I still get freaked out by the Swedish Chef's hands
Apparently, you no longer have to be 21 to consume Budweiser!
Got kicked outta hospital,the 'stroke patients here' means something completely different.....xXx
I'm going to Brussells. Anyone need sprouts?
My co-worker "Pig nose Susan" was in an abusive relationship so I contacted PETA
Fire roasted peanuts are so much better than water or wind roasted peanuts.
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Just heard that Janet Jackson and Randy Travis are doing the Super Bowl halftime show..
This one time at band camp.... I put a flute in its proper storage compartment.
There comes a time when it's just time to come.
I wish he had a heart so I could break it!! Stupid MF
The slower the kiss, the easier for love to slip through.
Light beer is for pregnant women and p ussies!
Some girl on Facebook just posted “so happy, nothing can bring me down” Who has the heart to tell her about gravity?
You make me want to be better at avoiding you.
I'm CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!! 