Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I reserve anal sex for special occasions. First dates for example.
←Rate | 08-02-2018 08:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You learn something new every day. Countries that have 90% poverty and you cant drink the water are paradise, instead of the $h1tholes we though they are.
←Rate | 01-13-2018 12:18 Comments (6)  


   messageicon In honor of the super bowl, whenever I go to poop today, i'll refer to it as "taking the browns to the super bowl"
←Rate | 02-04-2018 13:44 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon My greatest regret in life is not being a billionaire.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Punxsutawney for breakfast trying to figure out what the mystery meat next to the pancakes is?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 08:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if cupid has a job opening??? I would love to shoot people in the a** and get away with it!!!
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon See this Ipod ? Hear the music ? It's the only thing that's keeping me from killing you right now .
←Rate | 02-23-2011 01:29 by ROB Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching a cooking show full of dumb hosts and arrogant chefs. Yes, I think they should all try the smelly sauerkraut water - and choke to death.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:11 by mtravica Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think people must start requesting some sort of C.V or background profile on paper before engaging into relationships, would be advantages to know things like ful service history, Mileage, accurate shoe size and of cause HIV statuses
←Rate | 04-15-2011 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Creating creative statuses is one of the many habits of highly effective people!
←Rate | 04-18-2011 23:21 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated."
←Rate | 04-21-2011 03:14 by Jen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson should get hitched... Just sayin.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Toward no crimes have men shown themselves so cold- bloodedly cruel as in punishing differences of belief.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 18:06 by Sting Comments (0)  


   messageicon The statement to th right is true..the statment to the left is false
←Rate | 09-16-2011 00:46 by david909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am going to come out with a personal credit card reader and call it the "As swipe"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 04:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congratulations! You have just won 100,000,000 dollars in the mobile draw reply with full name, D.O.B, address etc. to claim your price. By courtesy of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 13:12 by predasa Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a cop pulls you over for doing 32 in a 30, I dont advise calling him a Nazi, unless you are looking for 3 square meals a day and a shower, fml
←Rate | 09-20-2011 17:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though they so many people die because of alcohol, you never think about how many of them are born because of it.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 03:34 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if I ask too many hypothetical questions?
←Rate | 08-11-2011 15:03 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  



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