Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   cutting the fat off bacon is like cutting the bacon off bacon

   Don't screw up your life; that's your family's job

   So in other news...On his last night, Larry King will reminisce about some of his best interviews with people like Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Moses

   I just saw 3 Angels walk down a runway wearing thongs...oh sorry it's just The VIctoria Secret Fashion Show

   Washington and Colorado legalize marijuana, Seattle and Denver advance to the Super Bowl. Coincidence? I think pot!

   I am sorry baby but I belong to a secret cult that believes Valentine’s Day is just another day. Same applies to birthdays.

   Dr fauci just announced we all have to wear jock straps now to stop the spread of covid

   Maybe trying to get out of the car with my seatbelt still on is my car’s way of saying I don’t need to go into the store for more cookies. I dunno.

   It's okay when to criticise someone when they try and force their beliefs on others and even go as far as trying to make their beliefs part of constitution and government policy.

   It's only great again for those of us who can spell.......idiot

   Hillary Clinton: 'I Am Getting Pretty Tired of Hearing About How Nobody Likes Me' Gee, what a surprise. Guess what? Here's another surprise. I like beer!

   I waited too long.. The stores ran out of winter solstice glasses.

   I kinda skeptical that it's really The Last Jedi.

   If you're complaining about kids playing a game outside while sitting on your a$$ judging people on the internet, you probably need to re-evaluate your priorities.

   Authorities Threaten to Boycott Kaepernick While Rapist Brock Turner Gets Extra Police Security??

   hillary immitating the twin towers

   I was abducted and anal probed by aliens. Their names were Jose and Ricardo. I'm going to the police.

   I just bumped into my sexy neighbour. She said, "Hows the little one,

   Mosquitoes are just vampire flies.

   Today we celebrate the man who brought Christianity to Ireland by drinking hard enough forget everything he taught.