Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I like hearing how actors shouldn't have political opinions from people who worship Ronald Reagan.

   If you are ever invited to anyone's Emotional Amusement Park, always aviod their Roller Coaster of Stupid Mistakes and ask them to meet you at the Carousel of Common Sense.

   Why do olives come in tall jars?So the Italians will have a place to keep their combs.

   What do Amish people and homeless people have in common? They can't read this.

   Anybody else having trouble finding a Tebow jersey small enough to fit on their light-up baby Jesus?

   we have chosen death over life, hatred over peace, arguments over understanding, conflict over family, etc. We are our own worse enemy endangered species!! Sad but true ain't nothing gonna change until dig within self and accept God "within"...

   There's no way I could possibly be lactose intolerrant!! I love B( o )( o )BS!!!

   I just asked my buddy who's lived in Texas on a farm his whole life how many sexual partners he's been with. Strangely enough he started counting and fell asleep. O.o

   Women love taking showers in boiling hot water, because it reminds them of hell, where they come from ...

   You suddenly realize that you're all grown up that moment when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kicking it under the fridge.

   I always sit backwards on the toilet...got to have a place to sit my cereal!!! most important meal of the day ya know.

   Here's the deal... No matter what state you're in, if you want Meth, find the nearest trailer park.

   enough with the gun control debate already. Just make guns illegal and there will never be another problem again. Just like all the other things they made illegal and you never hear about again. Like, murder, rape, kidnappings, drugs. etc.......

   Hoppy Easter Everybunny

   Why does a good Christian fear death and why do we mourn the dead, if they are going to a much better place?

   hates your extended network.

   youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

   Bristol is following in her mother's footsteps, having no talent and people still root for her!

   what really sank the titanic.

   using a Magic 8 ball to answer his bosses questions.