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I hate it when websites ask me, "Are you a human?" It's like, no, I'm a freakin' unicorn. 
A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
Terrell Owens held a work out for NFL teams today,was televised by ESPN &the NFL Network.problem was no NFL teams actually showed.Reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite when Uncle Rico is videotaping himself playing football.How much you w
Banana peel, coffee grains, pizza crust, beer bottles, empty tins, paper plates, sales papers. Don't mind me I'm just talking trash.
Just found out the Jersey Show house can be rented for $2,500 a night. That includes all the recommended vaccines
3 words, 8 letters Say it and I'm yours. "I got food."
didn't know K. Kardashian was married, in the first place!!!
Im going to make a Photo Album of Then and Now photos of my high school class mates and tag everybody
Everyone else has a nickname for their own butt, right?
When cops respond to a domestic violence call & they hear Bob Seger coming from the house, they're like "Uh oh…"
You need to borrow what? Some money? Nah, you broke people need to borrow a job.
Todays's game in Happy Valley will be referred to as "the Cornhuskers vs the Cornholers"
there any good boxers named mario? would love to see super mario fight pac man
I often carry a knife round in my pocket, when on days out with the family in the summer. Just in case I see a wasp land on my wife's neck.
Cops dislike txtn and driving ...Really? This bj and beer should be fine.
Your child may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
when someone says "no offense".. prepare to be offended
When I say, "That's interesting", don't assume it is, or that you are right or that I even I agree with you; most likely it means I am not really listening...
In-laws - Can't stand them, can't kill them, can't get rid of them. . .
What a beautiful day outside!!! (According to TV.) 