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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Take it Kevin Costner's been fired then...
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02-11-2012 20:47
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Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 5 songs in the world, right? Sincerly annoyed listeners.
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02-19-2012 15:53 by
@DonSicks
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If you watch the Titanic backwards..Its about a magical boat that saves people
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02-19-2012 16:07
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Beer is now cheaper than GAS! Drink don't Drive...
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02-26-2012 15:41 by
zandra
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When I'm having a day sometimes I go to WalMart and just smile and show off my teeth.
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04-25-2012 00:17
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The number one thing on my bucket list; not dying!
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04-25-2012 08:32 by
flinnie
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before getting married there are 2 words a man must know that are crucial to his survival....."Yes Dear"........
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05-02-2012 17:06 by
Corey C
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Priscilla Chan is to Mark Zuckerberg as Yoko Ono is to ...
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05-29-2012 15:16
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Remember, You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
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05-31-2012 08:40
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Dubstep is just dance music with Touretts Syndrom.
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04-03-2012 01:44 by
@OMG_Its_Matt
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Sometimes I put laxatives in my dishwasher to help relax my bowls.
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04-08-2012 10:07 by
Chuck U. Farley
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A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '23.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.'
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04-09-2012 21:32 by
BEGO
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If a cop pulls you over and asks for papers, he does not mean the zig zag papers.... :/
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04-11-2012 10:07 by
..andyeah
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Kim Jong Un has made millions of Americans look up the word dotard. So far, he's done way more education than Betsy DeVos.
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09-22-2017 22:07
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Covid spelled backwards is divoc... As in where divoc is my beer?
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09-04-2020 16:04
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Farting under the covers is no longer called a dutch oven. It’s now a "covid test". If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.
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01-01-2021 13:49 by
Grumpy
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Wear a sombrero to the next wedding you’re invited too. Long after they’re divorced they’ll talk about the guy in the sombrero.
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02-25-2021 10:33
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For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
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10-11-2021 08:14
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When your lawyer's, lawyer needs a lawyer. You know things must be bad.
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09-16-2018 01:10
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Guys, prove you're not a rapist by giving large sums of money to random women!
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10-02-2018 15:50 by
Truman
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