Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon So she says "I don't need a boyfriend, I have my 'toys'" I say "but your toys won't wake you up @ 4am like a good boyfriend will do for you"
←Rate | 08-24-2014 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies say that self inflicted bow and arrow suicides are down 1000 % since 1755.
←Rate | 09-14-2014 18:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon American people are not evil people. If given the right information they will do the right thing. The problem lies with their lack of information/incorrect information. Robbin - I concur
←Rate | 10-17-2014 16:55 by Damnstraight Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never known you to sweat the petty stuff. Although I have known you to pet sweaty stuff.
←Rate | 11-08-2014 08:21 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old that my pronouns are Thee and Thou.
←Rate | 12-18-2021 11:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that the overhead camera in front of my office is fake doesn’t stop me from giving it the finger on the way out every day.
←Rate | 12-22-2021 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sean Hannity debating Ted Koppel about real journalism is like a 5-year-old debating his dad about the rules of the house.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 14:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate people who throws their own son under the bus?
←Rate | 07-27-2018 09:34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Apply NRA Logic To Anything: My best friend's cat would have been alive if he'd been able to defend himself against quantum mechanics.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:13 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a dream I was making out with someone with really bad breath. Judging by the look on my dog’s face, I’d say we had the same dream.
←Rate | 02-22-2021 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would rather bleed to death than give up a fight!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 17:29 by raver Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow, this place is so clean! I could literally eat off the floor!" - my dog at every place she's ever been.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:17 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They don't have an airport. Apparently you have to be driven there
←Rate | 05-12-2011 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would like to rename "obese" to "Dyslexic Anorexia"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by Mike D Comments (0)  


   messageicon suffering from the Hawaiian Disease....Laka Nooki
←Rate | 01-30-2011 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has got a damaged glass front door . Hey don't knock it
←Rate | 02-10-2011 05:04 by legion Comments (0)  


   messageicon Over the weekend, Dallas gave Michael Vick the key to the city. What's next for Vick -- an award from PETA?
←Rate | 02-10-2011 16:22 by Joshman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darn it! Everytime I google "Google applications" I get a link to google search engine. I'm trying to get a job at Google but finding at application to fill out is impossible!!
←Rate | 02-12-2011 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the money Charlie Sheen makes, he should just buy CBS & rename it CharlieSheenBS! I'd watch everyday!!
←Rate | 03-04-2011 00:33 by Meow Comments (0)  



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