Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Apply NRA Logic To Anything: My best friend's cat would have been alive if he'd been able to defend himself against quantum mechanics.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:13 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a dream I was making out with someone with really bad breath. Judging by the look on my dog’s face, I’d say we had the same dream.
←Rate | 02-22-2021 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would rather bleed to death than give up a fight!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 17:29 by raver Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow, this place is so clean! I could literally eat off the floor!" - my dog at every place she's ever been.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:17 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They don't have an airport. Apparently you have to be driven there
←Rate | 05-12-2011 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would like to rename "obese" to "Dyslexic Anorexia"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by Mike D Comments (0)  


   messageicon suffering from the Hawaiian Disease....Laka Nooki
←Rate | 01-30-2011 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has got a damaged glass front door . Hey don't knock it
←Rate | 02-10-2011 05:04 by legion Comments (0)  


   messageicon Over the weekend, Dallas gave Michael Vick the key to the city. What's next for Vick -- an award from PETA?
←Rate | 02-10-2011 16:22 by Joshman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darn it! Everytime I google "Google applications" I get a link to google search engine. I'm trying to get a job at Google but finding at application to fill out is impossible!!
←Rate | 02-12-2011 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the money Charlie Sheen makes, he should just buy CBS & rename it CharlieSheenBS! I'd watch everyday!!
←Rate | 03-04-2011 00:33 by Meow Comments (0)  


   messageicon as long as charlie sheen thinks he's winning, why can't can we just let him win?
←Rate | 03-16-2011 01:16 by SNL Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found out it was really hot outside by actually venturing out there. WTF Facebook? You are suppossed to tell me these things first.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 18:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think you are funny. My girlfriend thinks you are hot, all of a sudden you not so funny anymore
←Rate | 06-05-2011 09:12 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lesson of the day: only the parent of a gassy infant can truly appreciate the beauty in the sound of a fart.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its funny how some people treat their relationship like a brand, complete with a pitch, advertising campaign and an audience.
←Rate | 09-15-2011 02:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you seriously get jealous of them having friends of the opposite sex on Facebook, then your a$$ deserves to be dumped.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An American blue collar boy's simple pleasure: AM country classics!
←Rate | 09-30-2011 11:53 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the 80s and 90s we had Government Cheese. What is next Salami?
←Rate | 08-09-2011 00:46 Comments (0)  



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