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So she says "I don't need a boyfriend, I have my 'toys'" I say "but your toys won't wake you up @ 4am like a good boyfriend will do for you" 
Studies say that self inflicted bow and arrow suicides are down 1000 % since 1755.
American people are not evil people. If given the right information they will do the right thing. The problem lies with their lack of information/incorrect information. Robbin - I concur
I've never known you to sweat the petty stuff. Although I have known you to pet sweaty stuff.
I'm so old that my pronouns are Thee and Thou.
The fact that the overhead camera in front of my office is fake doesn’t stop me from giving it the finger on the way out every day.
Sean Hannity debating Ted Koppel about real journalism is like a 5-year-old debating his dad about the rules of the house.
Don't you hate people who throws their own son under the bus?
Apply NRA Logic To Anything: My best friend's cat would have been alive if he'd been able to defend himself against quantum mechanics.
Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead.
I had a dream I was making out with someone with really bad breath. Judging by the look on my dog’s face, I’d say we had the same dream.
I would rather bleed to death than give up a fight!
"Wow, this place is so clean! I could literally eat off the floor!" - my dog at every place she's ever been.
They don't have an airport. Apparently you have to be driven there
Would like to rename "obese" to "Dyslexic Anorexia"
suffering from the Hawaiian Disease....Laka Nooki
has got a damaged glass front door . Hey don't knock it
Over the weekend, Dallas gave Michael Vick the key to the city. What's next for Vick -- an award from PETA?
Darn it! Everytime I google "Google applications" I get a link to google search engine. I'm trying to get a job at Google but finding at application to fill out is impossible!!
With all the money Charlie Sheen makes, he should just buy CBS & rename it CharlieSheenBS! I'd watch everyday!! 