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Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala! 
needs advice and help, but not from you.
Two billion years of evolution and that's what you come up with?
thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple coins to the pavement in town and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, the police were watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing UK currency
: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who ruins my day, and may their arms be too short to scratch themselves.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If porn was truly free, I'd save a lot of time on google.
annoyed....the FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working!
If you're going to have two faces, you'd think you'd make one of them attractive
the reason you're afraid of the dark...
just woke up....looking for my totem now! :)
So, was Snooki taken to juvie??
If flatulence is a normal part of pregancy, why did they toss me out of my wife's lamaze class after I farted?
Do you really have to like everything on Facebook....????
People used to protest things... Now they just join Facebook groups named 1,000,000 strong against ___________ .
The Hoff's singing is huge in Germany. He should be proud. Germans have always been known 4 their sound judgment
I wouldn't feel too good about yourself... "inner beauty" is just a nice way of saying you're fat.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
wondering why they call it Joy dish soap when people hate to wash the dishes?
When God closes one door he opens another. I just hope it's not a trap door. 